Old Habits Die Hard

Ever think you have something figured out? Like you've finally got it licked? You're sure it'll never stump you, trip you up and leaving you lying flat on your face again only to find yourself back on the floor in another shameful faceplant.
I've been there more times than I care to think back on. Forgiveness, true thinking, patience and self control are some of the areas in which I struggle. I realize as individuals we are unique. We are made in the image of God, the only reason I can figure that He would find us worth saving. But I am far, far fallen from God's likeness. It seems we are also each uniquely bent and broken. I sometimes find it difficult to rightly divide what makes me me and what needs to be changed, repented of and left off all together.
So take diet and its affect on the body. The Bible says that the believer's body in the temple of the Holy Spirit and therefore it is the believer's duty to care for the temple accordingly. But ask a hundred experts in health and medicine and you will get a hundred variants of the proper care of the body. Eat whole grains, go gluten-free, vegetarianism, high protein. And each of those would have their benefits. So I'm left with the decision what is the best for the care of this body I've been given. Only I'm not left alone to make the decision on my own. I'm supposed to ask the One Who made me, Who knows me inside and out, my physiological and spiritual and emotional make up and is aware of all the many reasons I eat other than to fuel my body. And for whatever reason that is one of the areas in life where I'm unwilling to let God have all of me all the time. I want to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat for the reason I want to eat. And any attitude like that is sin. It's the sin of pride and self importance. It's akin to the very speech that got Lucifer thrown down from Heaven. Do I know this? Yes. Do I want to change? Yes. Do I have success? Sometimes, when I confess my sin and walk moment by moment seeking the Lord. Are there pleasures in sin for a season? Sure, otherwise I wouldn't eat that late night bowl of cereal followed by the lunch meat and cheese, followed by something else sweet, followed by something salty. You see the craziness right. Stop at the cereal. That's OK. It's probably not even sin. Maybe not necessary but not sin. But what am I trying to fill, what am I really craving that the sweet salty sweet salty sweet salty alternates are not satisfying. I know it's God's presence, His refreshing company, His fulfilling. And no substitute will do. So then I remember this and I confess and forsake and experience victory. For a while. And then I start feeling good about myself . I even drop a few pounds and fit better in my clothes and think I'm looking OK.  And wham! I'm back on my face not relying on the LORD for the strength to overcome temptation and continue in His victory. O wretched  human that I am? Are the bad side effects not enough to deter you - the cellulite, the tent-like clothing, the indigestion, the physical and emotional distance you create in your relationships, the prediabetes with increased risk for other future health problems. Knowledge is not necessarily power.
As I re-read this post that I started over 1 1/2 years ago I find that I have made some changes toward success and have seen how others struggle with similar attitudes whether their problem is the same as mine.  So there are no hard, fast solutions to offer other than to moment by moment trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all ways acknowledge Him and He will bring it to pass.  Easier said than done, but at least it's true and proven because He said so.